|
jplollar
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Metro: Blacksburg
Gender: Female
Interests: seeing Jesus Christ face to face::falling more in love with Jesus Christ as i get to know Him better::soaking up His Word through study::Andrew Lloyd Becker, my fiance::working with/teaching children::playing the piano when i think no one's around::singing along with incredible singers, pretending i sound just like them::reading good, mostly old, books and attempting to write just like them::laughing at genuinely funny people::learning::Coffee and mint chocolate::words and movies::running and volleyball::immersing myself in the beauty of His creation
Expertise: sticking my foot in my mouth
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  iamHis85
Member Since:
11/17/2005
|
|
| So it's been awhile since I've been on here. There are many reasons for this.
- TIME--This past semester was incredibly busy as I began the first part of my student teaching.
- ACCESS--We don't have internet at our apartment, so when I'm relaxed and feel like blogging, I have no way to do so.
- AUDIENCE--Most of my past xanga buds have moved on to facebook, which I DO do. But facebook isn't everything, though it tries to be with its million of applications. However, realizing that few even read this anymore hardly motivates me.
Despite reasons 1-3, I am making at least a small attempt to resurrect this thing.
This past semester consisted of what is called "blocking," which simply means that I went through the more observational stage of student teaching, only going into the classroom twice a week. For the first half of the semester, I was in an 8th grade English class, which I LOVED! I was constantly pulling the kids of the walls and desperately trying to maintain their attention, but I really dug the challenge and that age group really suits my more domineering personality. The teacher was super innovative, doing things like Fairy Tale Trials and podcasts instead of the more traditional methods. I came to learn the names, backgrounds, and interests of all 96 of my students, which was the best part of the deal.
The second half of the semester I was in an 11th grade English classroom with a more traditional teacher. It took me awhile to acclimate to this age level, mostly because I was missing my 8th graders, but once I got to teach, I liked the different challenges of this class as well. Though the teacher was more traditional, he was able to build incredible rapport with the students--there were virtually zero discipline issues because they respected and loved him so much. So both of my placements were useful to my future teaching.
Despite this, my semester was EXHAUSTING! I had SIX classes on top of observing and teaching lessons, so every minute was assigned a specific purpose. However, Andrew and I still had plenty of time together, as he is INCREDIBLE at balancing his busy med school schedule with maintaining and growing our marriage.
Marriage. It's pure bliss. It really is. We haven't had the stereotypical adjustments and first-year fights that we were so often warned of during engagement. The transition has been so easy that it almost worries me---is the storm merely over the horizon? If so, I have yet to see even a hint of grey or a draft of moisture in the air. Andrew is simply a sacrificial person. That's really what it comes down to. He has so detached himself from promoting his own desires and needs that I literally have to FORCE him sometimes to put his own needs forward. His every action is geared into being a godly husband to me, literally laying down his life on a daily basis for me, for needs I haven't even voiced, for desires I have yet to fully realize. He knows me so well already---it's incredible to think of what it will be in the years to come. And so, in this way, Andrew is a beautiful and convicting picture of Christ to me. I feel like each day is a step down Calvary's path of sacrificial love and forbearance. God has blessed us so much--though I tend to think I got the sweeter side of the blessing!
This semester I begin my student teaching, all day every day in the same classroom. Still don't know my placement yet, but I'm not ready to find that out and end this lovely break of mine. I have been enjoying leisurely bookstore wanderings, posing as a coffee connoisseur, singing my heart out at the piano, and soaking up every minute with my dear husband.
Life is good.
But even better than that, God is good. So when life is not so good, I still know the rock upon which I stand. Thank you, Jesus, for all of these blessings!
| | |
| I am married.
I am now Jessica Becker.
Most days I can barely believe it has happened, and then something infinitesimally wonderful will be packaged into a single moment, an inch of our lifespans, a kiss, an embrace, a whispered word, or the feel of his warmth at night, or the fragrance of his masculinity in the morning and all incredulity dissipates into that singular and consummate knowledge that it is indeed real--I really am married, blissfully and deliciously married to a man of such worth, integrity, humility, and Christ-likeness. And then the cycle of disbelief resumes because I simply cannot believe the scandal I have pulled off in joining myself to such a stellar man. There are moments when I feel irrationally fearful that he will discover my scam through one of my prevalent cross words, abrasive critiques, or sarcastic innuendos and it will disappear, the shroud of marriage will be ripped from my grasp, and I will be labeled all the labels I deserve and dread. And then those moments happen and I cower in fear that this beautiful dream will be shattered with reality, and yet he just smiles, embraces me, and then has the audacity to put it on HIMSELF! Which of course melts me into utter submission and contriteness.
Again, what a wonderful man I have married.
Our wedding was simply divine. Really, it was. So much went so well that it couldn't have been anything other than a Divine Intervention. Did you know that THAT is the real meaning of "blessed?" The original Greek word means "interference." Thus, when I say that God blessed my wedding and marriage, I really mean that He completely and utterly interfered and stole it all for His glory--a Divine Robbery that could never be despaired of! So much GOOD, so many commitments for Christ arose out of it--Praise His Name! I've attached a few pictures here, but all the rest are on facebook. I've just added more to the album, so have another look if you haven't already.
I'll post honeymoon info later. We don't have internet at our apartment, so I type in spurts  . | | |
| So I've been busy with some things. Like a WEDDING. Which is just 16 short days away.
AHHH!
I've also been busy with a plethora of bridal showers. The following are pics from two of them. God has abudantly blessed us with a loving church family who knows the meaning of SHOWERING us with gifts:
Me being happy-like with some fun, fun gifts:
 
How do I open this thing??? :
My mom, me (wearing my rehearsal-bouquet), and my future-mom:
A new fam of sisters and mothers (minus one sis, Suzanne):
Praise God for church families and new families! I am blessed! | | |
| In Memorandum of a Massacre: Today a Year Ago
Today is April 16th. Perhaps this has just been a normal day for most of my xanga-world, but it certainly has been an extremely somber one for my community. Today is the one year anniversary of the horrifying massacre that occurred at Virginia Tech, a campus adjacent to my own. Today a year ago, 33 people perished, including the crazed gunman. Today a year ago I sat terrified in a windowless conference room because I could not get a hold of Andrew and his little sister and my dearest friend, Suzanne. Today a year ago I contemplated what my life would be like if Andrew was indeed dead. Today a year ago I had to surrender a marriage that had not even embarked in engagement, and a dear friendship that had not even had the chance to blossom.
What little sacrifice of my own.
Today a year ago 32 people lost the chance to see another spring day, to walk the aisle at their graduations, to tie the knot with their beloved someones, to hear the laughter of their dear friends, to feel the embrace of their parents, or land that first killer job in another state. Many of them were international students, some even the same Korean nationality as the shooter. So many countries affected, so many lives senselessly cut short. At least in our time lines. Obviously, God knew the span of their lives, but it is so hard to wrap my mind around a Divine Plan that included such bloodshed and terror, not just for them, but for our whole community.
And I feel so guilty.
Today a year ago I stood washed in the waters of supreme relief as I finally received a text message from Andrew, two hours after initially trying to contact him, simply saying, "I'm fine. Don't know about Suzanne. Please keep praying." Though he was, and had been, trapped in his building, at least he was alive. Today a year ago, after 5 hours of searching, I received a frenzied email from Suzanne, hurriedly confirming her precious life had been spared, though the shootings had begun in her dorm, and betraying her incredible fear as she and her roommate lay huddled in their room, not even knowing the shooter had been dead for hours by then. Today a year ago Andrew and I evacuated little Suzanne, passing by the surreal presence of the Today Show, NBC, CBS, FOX, and various other news channels' trucks and vans. You know something horrible has happened when Matt Lauer broadcasts live from your hometown.
I always thought I lived in a safe place.
But now these victims haunt our minds. If you have any sort of compassion, please look at their faces. I wanted to post them, though these are not all of them, to give them voice on my site:
While you look at them, do pray for dear Suzanne. One of these faces was a friend of hers, a strong believer, but nonetheless sorely grieved. Suz is still having a hard time learning how to grieve.
This comic was released shortly after the massacre, and I found it quite touching:
Now, a memorial has been built near the building where most of the deaths occurred. There is a stone and candle representing each of the victims, with their names and life spans. It's quite beautiful:
Today a year ago I surrendered and God gave it back. Nonetheless, I now know that life can never be tenaciously clung to. Daily I must surrender the lives of my loved ones and friends--after all, I came so close to losing them....
....A Year Ago Today. | | |
| BIG SIGH and BIG PRAISE...
So though most days in the office are incredibly...uhm...trying, today was GOOD. The Chinese visas AT LAST came in!! So it is now confirmed that I have not single-handedly ruined the summer-fates of 13 well-deserving students (and in my tremendous arrogance, I actually think I wield that sort of power). Yet again, God has stepped in and accomplished for me what I could never even imagined possible. Sometimes I wonder why He has put such a must-be-perfect-the-first-time person like me in this position...perhaps He needs a good holy laugh every now and then
Seriously, though, my faith has grown so much recently. I think I'm beginning to understand David's frequent gratitude for the Lord "enlarging [his] boundaries"--He is certainly enlarging the boundaries in the realm of what I really believe He can and WILL do on my most undeserving behalf!
In other news...
Wedding invites hit the mail this week. Wow. That means we're actually getting close, people! Only 2 1/2 months away until I will finally be united with my dearest friend and love  By the way, please pray for housing--we have been contacted about the one we wanted, and tomorrow we go to make sure it looks as we desire. If so, we sign on THURSDAY!! YAY! If we sign, I'll post pics soon
P.S. 75 days!!!! | | |
|
